I am an excellent worrier. I can worry myself in to a dark whole where they only light I see is that of a odd TV show which I am trying to use to not to worry because the thing I am professional at is avoiding. My friend Jennie categorized it as being an emotional caner. I take what is bothering me put it in a bottle and set it aside. Either it stops bothering me or it explodes and I have to deal with it. The exploding has had mixed results in my life. The most memorable is when I ruined mine and other peoples friendships, but most have just made a lot of noise and then been solved or recaned. This is my unconformable truth about being non-confrontational.
However I have been learning about this revolutionary thought: I can do things with intention to better understand my worry. This isn't me trying to be the heroine and solve everyone problems. This is me verifying if there even is a problem. It is the idea that I am going to actually talk to people. If I understand the situation I can see where I actually can help or where I just need to pray for the best to work out, but the main point is that I am not avoiding people but building my relationships with them.
I am a face person, when i am with your face you are the only person, but out of sight out of my ability to be social. I am not the kind of person just to call you up, I feel like I should have a purpose. And it is alright if I still have that purpose, but I want to be able to do it just because as well. That is what I am going to try to do . Not be stuck in the close system of me where I fester and rot away with worry, but to see the possibilities in life by talking to the people I love. So be prepared for awkward phone calls ^_^ ( or email, or texts or Facebook messages or whatever other social networking I get on) while I intentionally practice being social.
