Strength

I don't like people telling me that I am strong. I tell people that my mom passed away and they see how happy I am and they call me strong. They complement me on my strengths and my faith. Makes me feel like a hypocrite. I am not any stronger then they are they just haven't gotten a chances to have it tested. I am not that strong and my happiness is actually kind of bad sometimes because I use it as a shield to hide from my actual feelings. That is what I learned when my mom died, that I didn't accept negative emotions. Though I do find it a compliment that people can't tell that my Mom died, but really what do you expect me to be like? Some sad emotionally desturbed little girl who wear all black and whenever I get the chances cry is small dark corners by myself. I don't know I just know that it is my petpive to be called strong because I am not strong, at least not by myself, I am only strong because of my family and my faith. And for people to say that I-me-myself alone is strong just makes me get that itchy feeling that I deceiving people. But let me tell you don't tell them that you are not that strong because then they start calling you humble and that just makes me want to scream!!!!